It’s been a long time since my last update! Partially this
is because I’m not sure what to say. It’s been quite a year. I don’t have any
great news to share. I do have however, so much to be thankful for. So here
goes…I’ll share a list of experiences I’ve had and am thankful for this year as
well as give an update as requested. This is not meant as a list of grievances
but as a reflection on everything God has brought me through this year. There
is much suffering of many kinds. I have it so easy compared to what some people
have suffered this year. This is a partial list of everything I’m thankful for.
1. I still have cancer. I started this journey a year and 3
months ago. The doctor’s found the original spot, treated it and it moved to a
new location. They treated that spot and they thought I was in remission. As it
turns out, I’m not. They did an incomplete scan and rather than being in
remission the cancer had moved to a third spot. I’ve been treated for that and
am waiting to see what’s next. I’ve had 15 chemo infusions, 50 rounds of
radiation, several bone marrow biopsies, a thoracentesis, a port implant and
removal, a tri-catheter implant and removal, a stem cell transplant, and a
T-cell blood transplant (getting that today)…all in the last 15 months. We don’t know if I will be
cured or not. I am in unchartered territory in my disease. If my body doesn’t
reject the T-cell transplant, I will have 3 or 4 more early next year. I will
also get a PET scan in January to see if I have any other cancer cells in my
body. My doctor has “run out of options” so to speak in my treatment.
Palliative care or more chemo are the only alternatives available and as he said, neither are
good options for me. I’m learning to accept this; learning to trust that
whether I have 1 day or 40 years left on earth it’s ok. I have an eternal hope.
I’m learning that whatever quality of life I will have in the coming years it’s
ok. I’m learning to be willing to give up dreams of what I want out of life and
to accept and be grateful for what I’m given each day. I’m learning to not be
shackled by my mortality but instead to live each day with eternity in mind. I
don’t fear the future because I have a great and living hope.
2. My sweet dad passed away after a long battle with cancer.
He fought a good battle to the end. He taught me many things and will always be
a part of who I am as a person. I’m so grateful for the 30+ years I had with him
and could not have asked for a better dad.
3. My entire family has faced numerous setbacks and trials
this year in each of their lives, yet we are thankful for the year we’ve had
and joyful in the time we get to spend together. I’m so thankful for my family
and the love and support they give me. My brother & his family, despite
turmoil in their own lives, have dropped everything to come and donate his stem
cells for me. My mom and other brother and sister have done everything to
support me and spoil me through this process.
4. I absolutely love my church family. The church I have
become a member of here in Charleston is so much my family I couldn’t be more
grateful. They have become part of my life-long family. I look forward to every
chance I have to interact and grow with them. I am encouraged, admonished, and
loved by every member of the congregation.
5. I’m so thankful for my job. I absolutely love it and this
in itself is a gift. I work in a small, family run, boutique finance firm for a
family I respect and care for, in the best place on earth. How blessed am I?!! I work for a generous family, in an office .5
a mile from my house, in a position that is both challenging and rewarding. Our
clients are some of the best people I’ve ever met in our town. I have ample
opportunity to grow and learn as well as give feedback that will impact the
future of the company. I work with the sweetest and dearest coworker I could
ever hope for. She’s a great team player and an even better life friend. I
treasure this!
6. I’m so thankful for where I live!!! I can’t say this
enough J I
love Charleston, SC! I wouldn’t trade growing up in Saratoga Springs, NY for
anything but I also wouldn’t trade living in Charleston, SC for anything. I
live in a vacation town surrounded by much natural beauty, 5 minutes from the
beach, 10 minutes from our charming and historic downtown Charleston, and in
the best neighborhood in Mt. Pleasant with access to the harbor as well as
walking distance to anything I could ever want on Coleman Blvd. There are many
great outdoor experiences to have as well as a diversity of artistic
excursions to explore here. These are both areas of passion for me and when my
health is well enough to enjoy either one I treasure each experience I have. I
will never run out adventures here. There is always something to do and
something new to learn. I feel like I’m living in luxury.
7. I’m so thankful for my friends…both old and new. I have
some enduring friendships that have been rekindled this year. I really am a
horrible stay-in-touch kind of person, but amazingly, I have a few friends that
I’m able to continue to grow with, despite our limited contact. I have some
friends here in Charleston that I met a few years ago when I moved here. I
continue to enjoy sharing life with them.
8. I love my 3 cats. Yes, I have 3 cats. Throw away the
stereotypes and insinuations. I don’t care what you think of this (said in a
non-aggressive, sweet tone). If you have formed opinions and made judgments
about this stereotype then as my beloved dad always said, “You’re allowed to be
wrong.” J I
grew up a “dog person” and am quickly becoming a cat person as well. They are a
fascinating animal. My “boys” bring me great joy and provide a good outlet for
my mothering instinct. I also foster feral and stray cats and help get them
ready for their new homes. This is the best therapy I’ve ever had. I wouldn’t
trade this experience for anything. If you don’t understand it by experience
then you’ll never fully get it. No biggie, just don’t judge it. It’s not my
only passion but it’s provided some great opportunities to work with people I
never would have before as well as learn from these sweet, helpless animals.
Yes, I’ve learned much from my wild cats that have allowed me to tame them and
shower them with affection. My life is richer and I am a better person because
of this.
9. I love urban gardening. I am blessed to live in an area
with easy access to farm raised, fresh, raw vegetables. I also am blessed to be
able to delve into the arena in my own backyard. I have failed many times this
year but learned so much and am excited to continue to reap the benefits of
homesteading and hard work.
I could go on and on but this list is a great start J When I reflect on the
past and look toward the future my heart is filled with both thankfulness and a
hope and trust in what my loving Heavenly Father has planned. To answer the big
question I get over and over, no, I am not cured and don’t know if I will ever
be in remission, but we are certainly praying and working towards that goal. If
I am blessed with that gift then I will certainly share that and celebrate that
with you. If I am not, I will continue to trust my Father and look with hope to
a future when all pain will be gone and all wrongs will be made right.
I'm sure I won't update again before the new year so I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. As my sweet, young nephew always says, "It's happy birthday Jesus" time and every decoration, every light, every song reminds me of this sweet Babe that came to earth so I could live the life I have now with the future I'm guaranteed to have. Happy Birthday Jesus :)