I'm starting my initial Bexxar dose today. Life has been a crazy, but great, whirlwind these last few weeks! I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be for what lies ahead. I am prepared to fight for my good health, enjoy the resting time, and learn new new things when I get bored :)
On my project list you'll find a variety of material to read, a smattering of "back burner" projects from my job, sewing & knitting projects to master, a large pile of dvd's to watch, and whatever else I find to pass the time.
As I sit here waiting for my infusion, I find myself wishing I could write a book filled with the stories of people's lives. This disease is horrible and it shows no prejudice when it attacks. There are truly no boundaries: age, gender, strength, personality, ethnicity, intelligence, eating habits, income level, and the list goes on. None of these things matter. Cancer takes up residence and you find yourself in a battle for "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". You fight for your very life-blood. You fight for the liberties of every day life that you once enjoyed. You fight for the opportunity to break the shackles of illness, drugs, and side effects so that you can pursue the life that makes you happy. I have to say that I have met more people on this journey with such a beautiful fighting spirit and resilient hope that I can't help but be moved by them. Today I share my infusion room with two such beautiful souls. One is a lovely lady who looks at me through tired eyes, thinning hair, and a genuine smile. She has the same type of lymphoma that I do although the disease has manifested itself in her body differently. She has been battling it since the 80's. She has undergone chemo, radiation, and an autologous stem cell transplant. She was fine for several years but she recently had 2 injuries that are causing her setbacks. She was in a car wreck (not her fault) and she slipped at the registers in Walmart. Every place her body bruised the cancer came back with a vengeance. She cannot find a matching donor and is on the list for an allogenic stem cell transplant as soon as one becomes available. In the meantime, she is undergoing chemo. Even now as she talks to a friend on the phone, she encourages them that she is doing great and is hoping for even 5 or 10 more good years to enjoy retirement with her husband. Her husband, who is here with her, is a talkative man who seems gentle and patient. They share their journey with the other two of us in the room with a smile and an upbeat spirit, looking forward to what they are convinced will be their happy ending. The other beautiful soul is a man who is battling one of the forms of leukemia. He and his wife were prison guards in Jersey City for years and years. His disease came on very quickly and in a matter of weeks he went from every day life to fighting a terminal illness. He spent the last six months in the hospital and now will be going home. With deep conviction in his voice he tells us that he's as strong as an ox and always has been. Throughout his treatment plan his kidneys went into severe failure and he is now on dialysis. He cannot undergo any type of transplant and hopes to just enjoy many more years at home. Two beautiful people. We all swap war stories and battle scars like we're speaking in code. We rattle off drug names and chemo regimes that I had never heard of prior to my battle. We look at each other with an understanding eye and a steel set jaw, appreciating what the other person has gone through and routing for them like a high school cheer leader. We live in the moment, grateful to be alive and able to fight. This is life as we know it. Two complete strangers that have suddenly become like family.
My infusion will be finishing up soon. I have to go for an injection and some scans and then I'm done for the day. I'll be back next week for my radiation therapy.
So thankful :)
On my project list you'll find a variety of material to read, a smattering of "back burner" projects from my job, sewing & knitting projects to master, a large pile of dvd's to watch, and whatever else I find to pass the time.
As I sit here waiting for my infusion, I find myself wishing I could write a book filled with the stories of people's lives. This disease is horrible and it shows no prejudice when it attacks. There are truly no boundaries: age, gender, strength, personality, ethnicity, intelligence, eating habits, income level, and the list goes on. None of these things matter. Cancer takes up residence and you find yourself in a battle for "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". You fight for your very life-blood. You fight for the liberties of every day life that you once enjoyed. You fight for the opportunity to break the shackles of illness, drugs, and side effects so that you can pursue the life that makes you happy. I have to say that I have met more people on this journey with such a beautiful fighting spirit and resilient hope that I can't help but be moved by them. Today I share my infusion room with two such beautiful souls. One is a lovely lady who looks at me through tired eyes, thinning hair, and a genuine smile. She has the same type of lymphoma that I do although the disease has manifested itself in her body differently. She has been battling it since the 80's. She has undergone chemo, radiation, and an autologous stem cell transplant. She was fine for several years but she recently had 2 injuries that are causing her setbacks. She was in a car wreck (not her fault) and she slipped at the registers in Walmart. Every place her body bruised the cancer came back with a vengeance. She cannot find a matching donor and is on the list for an allogenic stem cell transplant as soon as one becomes available. In the meantime, she is undergoing chemo. Even now as she talks to a friend on the phone, she encourages them that she is doing great and is hoping for even 5 or 10 more good years to enjoy retirement with her husband. Her husband, who is here with her, is a talkative man who seems gentle and patient. They share their journey with the other two of us in the room with a smile and an upbeat spirit, looking forward to what they are convinced will be their happy ending. The other beautiful soul is a man who is battling one of the forms of leukemia. He and his wife were prison guards in Jersey City for years and years. His disease came on very quickly and in a matter of weeks he went from every day life to fighting a terminal illness. He spent the last six months in the hospital and now will be going home. With deep conviction in his voice he tells us that he's as strong as an ox and always has been. Throughout his treatment plan his kidneys went into severe failure and he is now on dialysis. He cannot undergo any type of transplant and hopes to just enjoy many more years at home. Two beautiful people. We all swap war stories and battle scars like we're speaking in code. We rattle off drug names and chemo regimes that I had never heard of prior to my battle. We look at each other with an understanding eye and a steel set jaw, appreciating what the other person has gone through and routing for them like a high school cheer leader. We live in the moment, grateful to be alive and able to fight. This is life as we know it. Two complete strangers that have suddenly become like family.
My infusion will be finishing up soon. I have to go for an injection and some scans and then I'm done for the day. I'll be back next week for my radiation therapy.
So thankful :)